HEAVY
This week, I started to write about Memorial Day and the importance, as a country, that we never forget the sacrifices made by the men and women who never took off the uniform,those who died serving this country and protecting this nation.
However, the news from Uvalde, Texas on Tuesday has taken over my thoughts…
NOT AGAIN was the first thought. Then, these words of scripture (Psalm 13:1), “How Long, oh Lord?” As more details came out about the victims’ age, I saw photos of the children and teacher of Robb Elementary School. My thoughts and emotions become so heavy.
I have a second grader moving into third grade next year. I have an 8 year old in my house. Maybe you thought something similar because you have a child or a grandchild in middle elementary school.
I could not stop thinking about the parents and grandparents who gathered outside the school yesterday waiting to see if their kids were among the ones who survived. Or, if their child’s teachers were able to protect their student. I couldn’t help thinking about how the last days of school are supposed to be joyful, exciting. Yet, now so many young, innocent children have had that ripped from them. End of school could become a trigger for trauma, anxiety, and fear. Thinking about how school, once a safe place, is now a place to be feared. My heart got heavier and heavier…
I woke up this morning (Wednesday, May 25) not worried about sending my kids to school, as some might, but instead, heavy hearted, grieving. Grieving with the families of Uvalde, who have experienced pain like no one should ever have to experience or bear. Thinking about the emotional, gut wrenching pain felt as a parent who has lost a child. Thinking about, “how can I do something?” How can I be part of real change to prevent history from continuing to repeat itself? Thinking, we are 10 years post Sandy Hook?
“How Long, oh God?”
I woke up this morning to the gray skies and the rain, with a heavy heart thinking about the parents and siblings who woke up to empty beds, an open seat at the breakfast table, to silence.
The rain fell on the windshield as I drove my kids to school… I thought about how the rain is like the tears of our God, who grieves with the city of Uvalde, with families, with the siblings, with the parents, for the teachers, and for the law enforcement. Heavy tears flowing down like rain. The gray sky and rain resembled my heart and the heavy heart of God.
Upon arriving at church Wednesday morning and reflecting upon all that has taken place, the words of Psalm 130 come to my mind. So I offer them to you:
1 Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord. 2 Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications! 3 If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand? 4 But there is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered.
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; 6 my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning. 7 O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is great power to redeem. 8 It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.
Honestly, I wish I had more I could say, but as I sit in the heaviness at this point in the week, I join my voice with the voices of people of Uvalde crying out to God, and longing for God’s presence, comfort, and words of hope. I put my hope in the Lord and God’s steadfast love, and I will continue to pray, to read scripture, and weep with God, knowing God’s redeeming power is at work. Heal us!
I hope you will join us for worship this Memorial Day Weekend, online or in person. As you reflect and celebrate this weekend, may we all remember those who died to early, because of the evils of war, and the evils that have led to another school shooting.
Lord, in your Mercy, hear our cries and our prayers! Amen
Rodney
Rodney Whitfield